I figured out the beads I want to start with, and I started. But before I got very far, I was beset with doubts. Beset, I tell you! Me! About the colors! This almost never happens to me... if there's one thing I don't generally agonize about, it's the colors. But here I am, having an existential crisis about the colors!
I thought it would be mostly yellows and golds, with accents of orange and red, kind of like the sun. Seems pretty straightforward. But the more I think about it (which I probably shouldn't do), the more I think that it won't look right that way... the light shining from behind the beads looks very different from light shining ON them. So maybe there should be a base layer of whites, with yellow etc over that. Most of my Yizkor candles have had a primarily white background, which has worked well. And THEN, I start thinking, what would go with the alabaster base? More towards the gold/tan family? And then.....
Aaaarrrrrrghghghghhhhhh!!! I can't steady my mind. Do other artists go through this a lot? I'm not used to it. Maybe it's just my recent flu, playing head games with me. Or maybe it's that unfamiliar "jury" concept. But my mind is a quivering mess of uncertainty at this moment. I think I need to set the whole thing aside until tomorrow. Perhaps things will become magically clear. Or white, or yellow, or gold, or.....
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