I'm Not Making This Up

What's your area of NON-expertise? Computers? Cooking? Home repairs?

Mine is make-up. I'm serious. I am usually a self-confident person, sure of what I'm doing in the kitchen, at the computer, at the sewing machine, at the wheel. But put a make-up brush in my hand, and I turn to mush. I look at this assortment of powders and gels that I've accumulated, and I'm sure that at one time I knew what to do with them, at least in theory. After all, the Mary Kay lady explained it. And then the Shaklee lady explained it. And then the SheerCover lady explained it. But now I'm unsure. I'm not used to this feeling, and I don't like it.

Solution? Don't wear make-up. 99% of the time I don't. But once in awhile, I really want to dress up and look like the other grown-up girls. Like tonight, for example. I was getting dressed up for the annual Holiday Party for Gary's company, and felt that I should at least TRY to look festive. So I put on my best beadwork (which I later took off and forgot to put back on), and some nice clothes. And then I decided it would really be nice to wear some make-up. I'm a little embarrassed that this is such a big decision for me, but it is.

So once I made the decision, I gathered up the various stuff, and tried to remember what to do with them, and in what order. After putting mascara on one eye, I realized that (a) I have a new, unopened one that would probably work better than this dessicated corpse, and (b) I should probably apply it after the eye shadow.

Eye shadow? Eeek? Um, let's see... my dress is aqua green, but I don't have any green eye shadow. Let's try this blue stuff.... yikes! It looks like someone beat me up! Okay, back to the old standard... light brown, very subtle looking. Yeah, stick with that. It's all coming back to me now; I go through this same sequence every time, and always end up with the light brown. I should just throw the others away.

Okay, back to the mascara. The lashes I started before look all clumpy with the new layer. I really should wipe it all off and start over. But I am NOT going back to the eye shadow, so this will have to do.

Concealer? Yes, I need to conceal everything on my whole face. But first I have to use that white stuff to cover up my red blotches before concealing. Sort of a pre-concealer. Except this white stuff is going on kind of shiny. Aren't we supposed to avoid shiny-ness? Maybe that's what the concealer is for. Sigh...

I briefly consider calling my Mommy on the phone. But she has no memory left, and she never wore anything but lipstick anyway.

Lipstick! Oh dear, how did I end up with 8 sticks of pinkish-brown? Even when that one female dentist advised me to avoid pink lipstick because of my pitiful yellow teeth. Gee, this is really a great exercise for building my self-esteem. No wonder I avoid it like the plague.

Okay, pinkish-brown it is. Apply generously, and then blot with a tissue. Blot a lot. Until it's basically all gone. Perfect. I feel like an idiot.

And then Gary comes home, looks at me and says "You look beautiful." And I melt. Maybe I should do this more than once a year! Or maybe not.