Okay, I got over it. I decided to keep going a bit further before evaluating. And if I need to add more white behind the yellows or more golds in front, duh, I can just add them afterward. The beauty of free-form beading is you can add anything anywhere you want, right? So, just go with the flow!
Also, I had some help from looking through Margie Deeb's latest book, The Beader's Color Palette. Mostly it confirmed that I'm on the right track. But also, it was comforting, and stimulating, and put me in a better mental state. Pretty pictures and color palettes will do that!
Okay, we've got the base figured out, and hubby has the light bulb & cord almost all set, and I've finalized my choice of the globe. I even made a little sampler of colors so I can see how they each look with the light shining through. So now there are no more obstacles... time to bead! Right? Well, kind of.
I figured out the beads I want to start with, and I started. But before I got very far, I was beset with doubts. Beset, I tell you! Me! About the colors! This almost never happens to me... if there's one thing I don't generally agonize about, it's the colors. But here I am, having an existential crisis about the colors!
I thought it would be mostly yellows and golds, with accents of orange and red, kind of like the sun. Seems pretty straightforward. But the more I think about it (which I probably shouldn't do), the more I think that it won't look right that way... the light shining from behind the beads looks very different from light shining ON them. So maybe there should be a base layer of whites, with yellow etc over that. Most of my Yizkor candles have had a primarily white background, which has worked well. And THEN, I start thinking, what would go with the alabaster base? More towards the gold/tan family? And then.....
Aaaarrrrrrghghghghhhhhh!!! I can't steady my mind. Do other artists go through this a lot? I'm not used to it. Maybe it's just my recent flu, playing head games with me. Or maybe it's that unfamiliar "jury" concept. But my mind is a quivering mess of uncertainty at this moment. I think I need to set the whole thing aside until tomorrow. Perhaps things will become magically clear. Or white, or yellow, or gold, or.....
I don't really like working on art with an assigned theme. I find it stressful, especially because it usually implies a specific exhibit with a specific deadline. And yet, something really good always comes from the challenge. Right now, our ORA members are working with the self-inflicted theme of "Light," which seemed a logical choice, since that's what our name means, and because the exhibit will be in a glass gallery. But then I got to thinking I should do something with an actual light source shining through the beadwork. Of course this leads to all sorts of challenges, and surprises too. Of course, in the end, it's going to be a gorgeous project, and I'll be really proud of it, but during the process I feel stressed and nervous.
I know that some people enjoy that nervous feeling, stepping out of the comfort zone. But personally, it makes me want chocolate. A lot of chocolate. Hmmmmm... now THAT would be an interesting theme.....
When I was 5, my mom attached a long string to my mittens, and strung them through the sleeves of my snow coat to prevent my losing them. It was a little uncomfortable, but she had good reason, based on her experience with me losing EVERYTHING. When i was 9, my grandmother bought me a beautiful Snow White wristwatch, and I lost it. I was mortified, but she kindly bought me another. I LOST IT TOO.
As I got older, the trend was refined a little. Losing things is mostly based on FORGETTING them somewhere. I lost my treasured Staff Jacket when I forgot it in a lecture hall at UCLA. I knew exactly where I left it, but it just wasn't there anymore when I realized it. I forgot keys, drivers license, purse, books, you name it. Now I knew where I left them, but still they weren't with ME.
(I only forgot to pick up my kids once.)
Now that menopause has reared its ugly and demented head, forgetting things has been raised to the level of an art. Sort of. The ugly, in-your-face kind of art. They write funny plays about it, but in one's real life, it's not funny at all. I forgot my purse twice in one night this past weekend, and therefore ended up driving to and from a friend's house three times in one evening. Twice to the synagogue in the last 20 hours because I forgot something there.... you get the picture.
So I try to figure out how I can reduce the frequency of forgetting things. One way is not to carry a purse. I do that a lot, but then when i need to use one, I'm unaccustomed to it, and forget it everywhere. I guess I could get those "clapper" keys. But sometimes I wonder if I could just tie strings to everything I take anywhere, and attach them to my clothes or my fingers. Paints a really attractive picture, doesn't it???