January 24, 2010

Angst in Living Color

Okay, we've got the base figured out, and hubby has the light bulb & cord almost all set, and I've finalized my choice of the globe. I even made a little sampler of colors so I can see how they each look with the light shining through.  So now there are no more obstacles... time to bead! Right? Well, kind of.

I figured out the beads I want to start with, and I started. But before I got very far, I was beset with doubts.  Beset, I tell you!  Me! About the colors!   This almost never happens to me... if there's one thing I don't generally agonize about, it's the colors.  But here I am, having an existential crisis about the colors! 

I thought it would be mostly yellows and golds, with accents of orange and red, kind of like the sun. Seems pretty straightforward. But the more I think about it (which I probably shouldn't do), the more I think that it won't look right that way... the light shining from behind the beads looks very different from light shining ON them. So maybe there should be a base layer of whites, with yellow etc over that.  Most of my Yizkor candles have had a primarily white background, which has worked well.  And THEN, I start thinking, what would go with the alabaster base? More towards the gold/tan family? And then.....

Aaaarrrrrrghghghghhhhhh!!! I can't steady my mind.  Do other artists go through this a lot?  I'm not used to it.  Maybe it's just my recent flu,  playing head games with me. Or maybe it's that unfamiliar "jury" concept. But my mind is a quivering mess of uncertainty at this moment.  I think I need to set the whole thing aside until tomorrow. Perhaps things will become magically clear. Or white, or yellow, or gold, or.....

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